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I confess, I love Hollywood… November 10, 2008

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I grew up singing and acting and being a performer. It has always been my favourite thing in the world, but it isn’t my profession.  I appreciate talent and love to go to the movies and music shops,…sadly, I have to admit that I love gossip and celebrity culture too.  It sounds pathetic, but I am not alone! (Seriously…addicted to Dlisted…).  So, what about the images Hollywood and the entertainment kate_bosworthindustry portray?  Ugh.

It would be a lie to say I, like most 20-something girls, would not kill to look like a superhot starlet.  But the level of working out which that would require is beyond me.  I really just want to be healthy and “average”. I don’t mind being a size 10-14, but I don’t want to be an 18-22.  It’s fine if someone is happy and healthy at that weight, but I don’t think most women who fit in that category are those things.  The problem is not the gorgeous, healthy attractive women that are portrayed in the media– it isn’t even the airbrushing (seriously, if you want to look like a Cosmo covergirl it can be done in Photoshop… you’ll look as much like yourself as Faith Hill does).  The problem is our perverse focus on an extra 10 pounds.  If you can look like Kate or Angelina-sweet.  Good for you.  If you look like Keira Knightly but are healthy and eating, great.  And, if you look like Tyra Banks, you are damn hot.

Fat Tyra?This picture is old, but it made me so angry that I thought it deserved another run.  Tyra Banks may be a lot of things– sometimes when I watch ANTM I’m pretty sure she’s insane– but she is a superhot, gorgeous woman.  She isn’t fat.  She might have thighs, but what woman doesn’t?  She isn’t the same size as when she posed for Sports Illustrated, but she’s also like 10 yrs older.  Some on.  She is 5’10 and around 165lbs or so here- this is what I WANT to look like.  The problem isn’t that Tyra is 165lbs– the problem is we seem to think that makes one a horse.  If women believe this, or men believe it and make the women in their lives feel they don’t measure up, that’s where the problems come from.  Beauty is such a fickle thing…and it is damn near impossible to look like the perfection we see on television and in movies.  We have to be happy with ourselves.  I know I am overweight and that gets me down, but I’m not ugly.  I have good features, I’m tall, blonde…I just can’t get past my size sometimes.  I don’t hate myself and I’m damn well not going to start just because some tabloid asshole thinks I should.  But I know I can be better than I am. And, I think it’s fine to have both of those perspectives– I don’t buy into all the hype and falsity of entertainment media, but I do know that I have to change myself.Beyonce Bikini

Other stars who are admirable but get garbage media about their weight?  Cheryl Burke and Lacey Schwimmer on Dancing with the Stars.  Come ON.  They are both world class dance pros, and they deserve to have their thighs become the focal point?  Jennifer Love Hewitt?  Hot.  Jennifer Lopez?  Stunning.  Beyonce?  Bootylicious!

Most women would give anything to look likese these ladies do.  Why destroy self image and confidence by tearing them down as fat and unattractive? 

Yes, half of our population is overweight or obese.  This is unhealthy and will have a massive social cost if we don’t put some focus on it. But, the focus needs to be on the health, and not the size of one’s ass from a hotness perspective.  We all know we look better healthier– that doesn’t always mean thinner.


The Goals November 9, 2008

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Height – 5’10
Current Weight – 298 lbs.
Goal Weight -175 lbs.

Pounds to Lose – 123 Lb.

Current Size: 20-22 (US)
Goal Size: 10 (US)

Why Do This?  I love my life.  I don’t want a heart attack, or diabetes or any of the million things being fat can cause.  I want to feel good about myself, and I want to feel like I can do anything and not be hindered by how I look.  I want to feel like people see ME when they meet me, how amazing I am and what I have to offer, and not my size. 

I want to like myself more.

So, I have an entire small person to lose.  I know this is a long term battle, and I am prepared to change my life.

What I do right: I go to the gym, I try to eat sensibly, I am active, I take vitamines and try to stay healthy, I visit my doctor, when I eat on the run I usually go to subway and am very good about my food choices.

What I do wrong: I eat garbage food at least once per week (nuggets and sweet and sour sauce destroy my The Garbagelife), I don’t go to the gym enough, I sometimes get caught in weight loss traps (like pills), I lose motivation and confidence when nothing changes

I used to be an athlete–I played basketball, volleyball, competitively swam, was a dancer– but even then I was still overweight.  When I stopped those things and went to university, it really fell apart.


I will update this blog every 2 weeks (min) with new weight loss info.  I will also add measurements at some point, because that is a  better way to look at body transformation than weight.TurboJam!

I will go to the gym min 3x/week, and stick to the Turbo Jam workouts.  This will give me some cardio exercise each day, and the gym gives me weight training.

The Beginning… November 9, 2008

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So, this is the beginning.

I am a 25 yr old American girl, living in Canada and going to university.  I have been very lucky in my life–I have an education, great friends, spectacular family…

This is not a sob story blog, to complain or to gripe about my life.  I have had success in almost everything I’ve tried– but I have massivelyt failed myself in on vein– I am seriously overweight and have to do something about it.  I can’t do it on my own.  I need an outlet.  And I can’t talk to my friends about this– tey are all thin, and would just tell me to hit up the gym more (while still encouraging me to eat deep fried cheese sticks when er go out).  So I have turned to the great anonymity of the internet. I know I am not the only one with this problem.  I have had some success and gained it back– and I recognize that weight isn’t jsut about diet, genetics, activity– a huge component, for me at least, is stress, life and happiness.  When I am happy and the world seems perfect, I lose weight and am healthier.  But when things fall apart and stress gets to me, I gain.  So, part of the battle for me is learning to cope with stress and let-downs in a way that won’t promote weight gain and disillusionment.  I hope you will find something here that speaks to you– I’m in this to change myself.  I truly believe every person is here to improve the world–to do something great and to help one another.  I want to improve myself, and hopefully can help someone else reach their goals along the way.